My Temple Fast

“Surely we on this side of the veil have a great work to do. . . . We can see that the building of temples has deep significance for ourselves and mankind. . . . We must accomplish the priesthood temple ordinance work necessary for our own exaltation; then we must do the necessary work for those who did not have the opportunity to accept the gospel in life. . . .

“Yet there are many members of the Church who have only limited access to the temples. They do the best they can. . . .

“Let us truly be a temple-attending and a temple-loving people. We should hasten to the temple as frequently, yet prudently, as our personal circumstances allow. . . Let us make the temple, with temple worship and temple covenants and temple marriage, our ultimate goal and supreme moral experience.”

                      - President Howard W. Hunter, “A Temple-Motivated People,” Ensign, May 1995

The Oakland California temple was an hour drive away from where I grew up. As a mutual group, we were usually able to go to the temple to do baptisms for the dead several times a year. In addition, we occasionally went to the temple grounds and Visitor’s Center for other events, like stake conferences, dance festivals, special concerts, and Christmas lights. I felt very blessed that the temple was a part of my life as a youth, but making the trip always took careful planning and was a big event.

When I went to college at BYU, suddenly the Provo temple was just five minutes away. I could walk there. I could even just go to the grounds just to read my scriptures, something that I had always dreamed of doing when I dreamed of living close to the temple. Although I could only do baptisms for the dead, I was very excited that I could go to the temple more frequently.

But college started all too soon and I was busy from the start with classes and adjusting to life on my own away from home. There wasn’t much time to hike up the hill to the temple when I had papers to write, tests to take, and other homework to do. I was also a little nervous about finding my way around the baptistery and only wanted to go to the temple if friends could go with me. Sadly, during that first semester—five minutes away or not—I only went to the temple once or twice.

Then the lesson began when the opportunity of temple attendance was ripped from me. Over Christmas break that year, I broke my leg in a sledding accident. I came back to college several days late and in a leg cast. I had to use a wheelchair and crutches to get around to my classes, and going to the temple, at a time when I was struggling emotionally as well as physically from my injury and the strength of the temple would have been a tremendous help, was impossible (you just can’t be baptized in a cast!).

The closest I could get to the temple that semester was in my Doctrine and Covenants religion course. The class covered the second half of the Doctrine and Covenants, and we talked about the temple a lot that semester because in many of those sections the Lord talks about the importance of building and worshipping in temples.

As we studied these commandments in class, our professor challenged us to write down goals about our temple attendance. I felt so sorry that I hadn’t taken time for the temple while I was able to go, but I could still make goals and did. I promised the Lord and myself that once I was out of my cast I would not take the temple for granted again.

Looking back, I call this time in my life my temple fast. As I waited for my leg to heal so I could walk again, I learned how much I missed the temple in my life when I took the time to appreciate it. Every time I start thinking about how going to the temple isn’t convenient in my scheduling or travel plans, I remember how much I missed it when I wasn’t physically able to go and try to remember to better appreciate the opportunity—and not a chore—that regular temple attendance is in my life.

Years later, one of my bishops talked about the time when the temple closes for cleaning in the summer or winter each year as a time of a temple fast. He would always encourage us ward members to go just before and just after the scheduled temple closing and during the few weeks without an open temple to think about our “fast” to help us recognize how much we appreciate the temple, but I after that first temple fast in my life I have always hoped that I can learn to appreciate the temple even while I live near one, and while it’s open, by attending frequently.

My Own Temple Dress

I was very excited to go through the temple for the first time. Receiving my temple endowment at that specific time was a preparation for my temple marriage, but I knew that making covenants in the House of the Lord in the temple endowment was an important step on my personal spiritual progression as well as a necessary prerequisite to my temple marriage. I scheduled my first temple trip a few weeks before my wedding so that I could recognize receiving my temple endowment as its own special event and not just something adjacent to my marriage.

The day before my endowment session, my mom took me to the distribution center to buy my first temple garments. While we were there, I realized that I had always expected that my mom would buy me my own temple dress. I had hinted at this a few weeks previous, but my mom had said that it might be a few years until I purchased my own temple dress and robes and not to worry about it. As the attendant rang up our purchases, I peeked longingly into the room further in the store where they had racks of white dresses. I was too shy to ask my mom to buy them for me outright, but I hoped that she would notice that I was looking.

She didn’t. She finished paying for the garments and we left the distribution center. I felt like I had to drag my feet back to the car. This was silly. Why did I have my heart set on my own temple dress? Why was it such a big deal?

My mom pulled the car out of the parking lot and headed onto the freeway.

“We’re all set, right?” she asked. I think she noticed how quiet I was.

“Yeah, I think so,” I said, but untruthfully. We passed a few exits, and suddenly I felt like I was going to cry. Inside, I chastised myself. Why was I being so impractical? This wasn’t that big of a deal. Finally, I pushed the unsuccessful chastising voice aside and expressed my honest feelings.

“Mom?” I ventured, turning my face to my left, towards her.

“Yeah, honey?” she replied as she took a glance in the rear-view mirror to facilitate a lane-change.

“I think I really want my own temple dress.”

I stared at my feet, at the muddy navy-blue car mats. I felt like I was sinking in my seat because it felt like such a childish request, and yet it was really how I felt.

“Should we go back then?” my mom asked. I couldn’t quite tell what her mood was, but the question didn’t sound anywhere near angry or annoyed. I was relieved.

“Yeah. Mom, is that okay?” I asked, looking at her again.

“Sure. Let’s do it.”

She pulled back into the right lane, took the next exit, and turned us around to go back to the distribution center.

When we walked back into the distribution center the attendant was surprised to see us again so soon. I was embarrassed, but my mom simply said that we decided to buy a temple dress and robes today as well. I couldn’t believe it; my mom didn’t mind that having my own temple clothes really mattered to me.

We tried on different styles of temple dresses and chose one that my mom and I both liked. It was nice that she was there to help and be a part of choosing one. The distribution center also gave us a discount, which was very helpful, because it was my first time going to the temple. As we drove away the second time, I felt like I was filled to the brim with happiness.

The story of my temple dress taught me a lot about the love my earthly mother has for me and also taught me about prayer and the love my Heavenly Father has for me. Under “Prayer,” the Bible Dictionary explains that “the object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.” The Bible Dictionary entry continues by saying, “Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.” Like my earthly mother, who was very willing to give me a temple dress when she knew that it was something I really wanted, our Heavenly Father is willing to give us many blessings if we only ask for them in prayer.

Prayer is naturally an act of humility. As we kneel before our Heavenly Father and counsel with him (see Alma 37:37), we acknowledge his power and our submission to his will and purposes. Through prayer, we can commune with our Father in Heaven. In doing so we can show our love for him and our desire to draw closer to him as we also feel his infinite love for us. King Benjamin teaches that when we “humble [ourselves] before God” we can “[taste] of his love” (Mosiah 4:10-11). King Benjamin further counsels us to “always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God . . . and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come” (vs. 11). This counsel highlights the necessity of humility to prayer; both humility and prayer are necessary for our spiritual progression because they allow us to develop a personal relationship with God. By recognizing our dependence on God, we can draw closer to him and learn how to do his work.

Having my own temple dress when I received my temple endowment was not something that was an absolute need in my life, but it was a sincere desire of my heart. Turning the car around to go back to the distribution center to buy the dress was a striking example of the mercy of my mother. I certainly hadn’t done anything to even begin to deserve the gift that I desired, but she gave it, willingly, because she loved me. Likewise, there are many things that our Heavenly Father is willing to bless us with to satisfy the righteous desires of our hearts as well as our needs. All blessings, whether or not they are essential to our spiritual or temporal survival, are manifestations of God’s mercy. He blesses us before we ever draw close to deserving a blessing, and when we try to repay our debt to him by serving him, he immediately blesses us again, leaving us indebted to him “forever and ever” (Mosiah 2:24-25).

Because I had to ask my mom to buy me a temple dress in complete humility, having done nothing at all to deserve it, the situation turned into an opportunity for her to demonstrate her love and mercy towards me. This in turn gave me the opportunity to appreciate the debt I owe her and to spur me to want to be merciful and loving to other people as well. King Benjamin promises that when we humbly pray to God and remember His greatness and our own nothingness, “Ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true” (Mosiah 4:12). And, even further, we will begin to want to reach out to others, “to live peaceably,” to serve those in need, and to teach our children righteousness (vs. 13-16). Thus by humbling ourselves in prayer to God, “[calling] upon his holy name that he would have mercy upon [us]” (Alma 34:17) with our “hearts . . . full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for [our] welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around [us]” (vs. 27), we learn more of his love for us as we grow in love and faith towards him.

The story of my temple dress reminds me every time I see or wear it not only of the special covenants I made when I received my temple endowment, but also how the love and mercy of my mother demonstrated the love and mercy of the Lord and how by asking for our righteous desires in the prayer of a meek and humble child (see Mosiah 3:18-19) we can “learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God[--that] God is our Father, and we are his children” (BD “Prayer”).